Away from the lens.

Well, I know this blog is primarily concerned with my modelling, but at the same time I'm going to be cheeky and use it for my not-quite-so-exciting personal life too.

As anybody truly close to me will now, things have been pretty rocky recently in a lot of ways, and I've been coping with a lot of things, which I won't go into on my public blog (I have an anonymous one for that!)

But it's getting to the point that something has to give, and now, it has given. Because of financial strains, we were seriously considering giving up our flat and moving back home anyway but what we also realised is that doing so would give me the opportunity to do something I've always, always wanted to do - save money to go travelling. Since I started at university, if I'm entirely honest, I have utterly detested it; it has single-handedly sapped every ounce of passion I have for the subject - sucked it bone dry and snapped the shards. So I'm taking myself out of the situation for a year.

My parents seem to think I'm stupid enough not to return to my studies after a year, but I know myself that I have to - I have far too much ambition, and my life plans don't include me being stuck in a dead end job. I'm taking a year out, before my grades start to matter, and then I'll go back and I will succeed. They don't seem to realise that the doubt they have in me just reinforces my need to do well, but perhaps that's why they're discouraging me? I suppose underneath it all I'm still a quiet rebel; tell me I'm going to fail and I'll do anything I can to prove you wrong. Tell me I can't do something and I will dig my heels in all the way, even if it causes me to blister and stumble. Don't you all know me well enough by now?

Well anyway, I have the most itchy feet possible. I have always had this wanderlust, and in all honesty I blame the Lyon genepool for that (even though it's that side of the family trying to stop me now - and yes, I do know you're reading!). I love the thought of getting out a map, and taking a random chance on where the pin will land... I could follow it around the globe, soaking up every city, every country, every culture en route. I want to experience everything this world has to offer, and I'm not content to settle with the small corner I've already sampled.

So once I've sat my second year exams, I'm going to be sitting plotting, poring over travel brochures until I can come up with that perfect itinerary! I'm having trouble deciding between continents at the moment, and I don't have the budget to see all three of the ones I'm leaning towards - North America, Australia, and Europe. But I will see at least one of them, now it's just choosing which one.

I can't wait.